3-WAY SEX TO BEAT THE DEVIL! (GET MP3)
Professor ThornDaddy's distance learning BDSM classroom, lesson 150. Eliminating sexual guilt once and for all. (Episode released out of order before episode 149)

It's ThornDaddy's birthday! He's been wanting to do two chicks at the same time on his birthday for decades, and finally succeeds. And it's MAJESTIC! He slaps and fucks these two slutty bitches until the WALLS ARE WET. He spanks THEM 44 times each, a few times over. And it also means, since he made it to age 44, THE DEVIL WILL NOT GET HIS SOUL! ThornDaddy explains this. ThornDaddy and Dollie Llama also talk about how they're looking for other slutty gals to join them on their audio teaching hospital.

Daddy and Dollie talk about sexual discrimination laws and BDSM, the Acid Test For Subs, FOIA, coming out of the closet and no one giving a shit, ThornDaddy's plans for leaving the Internet, pubic hair grooming, how hot ThornDaddy is singing in those YouTube Bomb videos, and how cute Dollie is in that "Kitty Lickin' Good" YouTube video.

SQUIRTING SLAVES AND POLYAMORY (part 3 of 3) (GET MP3)
Professor ThornDaddy's distance learning BDSM classroom, lesson 149. How to fuck two slaves' brains out, and keep 'em happy, enjoy life more, and live happily ever after. Seriously. (Episode released out of order after episode 150)

ThornDaddy fucks Dollie Llama and the pet, with both girls blindfolded and tied to each other. Then he sits on his throne like a kinky king and directs them licking each other while he spanks them and dominates them with his words, mind, heart and hands. Dollie squirts like the devil, so much that you can HEAR the squirt. He wipes one girl's pussy juice on the other girl, and vice versa, while pulling their hair as they masturbate to his specifications. He answers his SAC fan e-mail as the girls give each other aftercare. Then they all go into the other room, sit in front of an open window, pet each other and talk about everything under the sun. They are all three very very happy with this arrangement. All three of them KNOW that LIFE IS GOOD.

ThornDaddy lies in bed, attended to by his bitches and his cats, microphone on a stand in front of his brilliant brain as he addresses his worldwide audience with his astonishing commands.

They talk about meth sex and other filth. They also talk about vasectomies, biorhythms, BDSM love, sexual purity, and why and how ThornDaddy uses sex as the delivery mechanism for his memoirs and his mission statement on life. And they prove it, by offering a zip of kinky photos from the Internest, and slip in PDFs of their two books. They talk about Christians who hate porn, and why those people are WRONG, and GOD WANTS YOU SEXY.

Then ThornDaddy fucks both girls, and has a non-fatal electrical accident while doing so. And you get to listen. And learn what NOT to do in bed, because this is a teaching hospital.

SQUIRTING SLAVES AND POLYAMORY (part 2 of 3) (GET MP3)
Professor ThornDaddy's distance learning BDSM classroom, lesson 148. How to fuck two slaves' brains out, and keep 'em happy.

ThornDaddy makes Dollie Llama suck his cum out of the pet's pussy. Both bitches squirt, with the pet in pigtails and little girl socks. He slaps their asses and tells them what to do as they drip girl cum on his sacred bed, with the pet tied up and slapped.

Then they lay in bed, look out the window, listen to the birds, and have a mellow three-way loving date. It's a pretty and nifty example of their loving polyamory. They talk about Jacqueline Carey, "Kushiel's Dart", "Screw the Roses, Send Me the Thorns", Damien: Omen II, Ronald Reagan, calling your wife "mommie" and your husband "Daddy", how George W. Bush sounds like a drunk redneck at some bar, and why voting doesn't work. Dollie opines about the beauty of ThornDaddy's perfect penis. Then they tell you how you can download the Quark files for translating and releasing "HOW TO FUCK A WOMAN'S BRAINS OUT" in your own country. The ThornDaddys have a kinky mellow date, and the worldwide BDSM community gets to be a kitty in the corner.

Then they give their "Pervert and Ropie" review of the movie "The Story of O."

SQUIRTING SLAVES AND POLYAMORY (part 1 of 3) (GET MP3)
Professor ThornDaddy's distance learning BDSM classroom, lesson 147. How to fuck two slaves' brains out.

There are SAC fans into making The Plump Buffet into reality on Second Life. Info on the blog.

ThornDaddy and Dollie Llama and the pet talk about interpreting BitTorrent stats, curved cocks, tying yourself up. Then the three of them have awesome tramptastic, slappy sucking three-way BDSM M/F/F sex with two ladies tied up and squirting.

Then they watch the best movie ever made, "THEY LIVE", and give their "Pervert and Ropie" movie review. They talk about South Park, Cripple Fight, Star Trek, Second Life and sex. They pause for a mid-movie intermission and the girls give some oral service to their master, at his command. Then they finish the movie, and talk about how great it is. Then they yack about hippies' small brains, cats' small brains, the Kama Sutra, and not wasting bird seed while you spill your seed on hot bitches. And finally, they welcome their new BitTorrent listeners in Pakistan, Chile, the Philippines, Indonesia, Guyana, South Africa and Belarus.

Get the Free PDF of final version of "HOW TO FUCK A WOMAN'S BRAINS OUT"

HAPPY MOTHER FUCKER'S DAY! (GET MP3)
Professor ThornDaddy's distance learning BDSM classroom, lesson 146. How to fuck a mother's brains out.

ThornDaddy and Dollie Llama celebrate Mother's Day by ThornDaddy fucking the brains out of Dollie Llama, who is a mother. He ties her up and fucks her baby hole, hard, making her squirt and give birth to a bunch of Skene.s gland juice.

Then they put on their "Pevert and Ropie" hats and review the movie "The Pet", which purports to be about 24/7 power exchange, but really isn't, at least in ThornDaddy and Dollie's world, and any practice of sane D/s that any of their friends partake in. ThornDaddy and Dollie Llama don't hate the film as much as most user reviewers do, but are just kinda left scratching their collective "nation of one" head, saying, "That's just confusing."

Then they ask people who play "Second Life" to write in to help make "The Plump Buffet" come to life.

SEX, PRIVACY AND GOD (GET MP3)
Professor ThornDaddy's distance-learning life-lessons classroom, lesson 145: Boundaries.

ThornDaddy and Dollie Llama celebrate sending the final edit of "HOW TO FUCK A WOMAN'S BRAINS OUT" to the printers by having amazing slappy squirting BDSM married hot fucking orgasmic tied-up woman sex. Then they talk about the meaning of life, being blessed from birth, being famous and still wanting privacy, outing yourself to yet more family members, and how life is a process, not a destination.

They discuss Abby Hoffman, Madonna, discretion, and the increasing need for 40 acres and for more docents to administer their foundation. They talk about dealing with the death of loved ones, (human and feline) and answer the age-old question, "Which are better, cats or dogs?"

They analyze an old SAC episode "CloneTheCoffee--theSecretToLife-4-23-07", for an anonymous European BitTorrent fan.

They openly process the connection between hermithood, the sexopus, the sexopod, the headless squitten, cats bringing you dead birds and mice, Jesus Christ, heroin, and how all humans are nothing more than ants, and how our lives are just a blink in the ocean in the grand scheme of things. And finally, they explain why uneducated manual laborers are more valuable than intellectual types with a lot of ambition.

THOSE DAMN VANILLA FAMILY MEMBERS (GET MP3)
Professor ThornDaddy's distance learning BDSM classroom, Lesson 144: How to deal with assholes trying to blackmail you.

ThornDaddy and Dollie Llama talk about what they did when a self-righteous adult family member snooped, and ignored the warning that says "If you are of legal age, but offended by intelligent talk & artistic photos of hot, rough sex between loving, consenting adults, just GO AWAY, and don’t come back. There’s nothing for you here."

The family member, of course, found filthy things she didn't want to see, became as indignant as a petulant six-year-old, tried to censor and emotionally blackmail. She also tried to act like an authority figure to people much older and much smarter than her.

She showed the filth to many of her friends who would have never known about it otherwise, then yelled, "This is HORRIBLE! My family is doing this TO ME! It’s all about ME! FEEL SORRY FOR ME, DAMN IT! I’M A VICTIM HERE!!"

Then the family member threatened to "OUT" ThornDaddy and Dollie Llama to Dollie’s parents.

This was the final straw.

Dollie and ThornDaddy explain how they put an end to this madness, with grace, wisdom and aplomb.

Then they say "howdy" to their fans fighting in Iraq, explain why Dollie is such an exhibitionist, talk about why nurses are so filthy (and why ThornDaddy loves nurses), and crow about the recent release of ThornDaddy’s new book, HOW TO FUCK A WOMAN’S BRAINS OUT, and tell you how you can get a free copy. Then they end the cast in the usual manner.

ALL WOMEN ARE BISEXUAL (GET MP3)
Professor ThornDaddy's distance learning BDSM classroom, Lesson 143: How to take a turn as the bottom while maintaining the master hand.

ThornDaddy and Dollie Llama have amazing squirtastic three-way private swing party sex with the pet, with Daddy in a slip being one of the girls, and Daddy gets Flex-O-Pleased by his bitches. Then they all bedcast and talk about how ThornDaddy may run for governor of Wyoming, how hot wax play and Nazi domination fantasies are almost vanilla, how ALL WOMEN ARE BISEXUAL (at least if they're under ThornDaddy's spell), and how SAC is a love song for all the cubicle girls in the world. Then Professor ThornDaddy puts on his science hat and explains how to use BitTorrent, how Pirate Bay is the menu, the torrent is the waiter's order, and the media is the meal.

THE BELLES OF THE SWING PARTY (GET MP3)

Professor ThornDaddy's distance learning BDSM classroom, Lesson 142: how to have a private three-way swing party.

ThornDaddy and Dollie Llama have amazing three-way sex with the pet, then bedcast and talk about not letting beta subs call you what the alpha sub calls you, milk-rocker White Gold - the greatest thing that's ever been on TV, the argument against S/slash S/speak, taking you bitch's new pumps out for a test drive in the bed, BDSM sex, BDSM love, art, science, kitties, computer and audio gear porn - it's all good. They watch the Johnny Depp movie "Ed Wood", then discuss not living with BDSM blinders on, loving fiber optic cable porn, how squirting bitches turn the bed into the land of a thousand lakes, how ThornDaddy "goes out for a pack of smokes, comes back in five years, fifteen seconds later she's undressed."

Then Daddy the girls talk about being the two worshiping toe-sucking slaves for ThornDaddy while Daddy masturbates and watches them kneel and suck.

Also, check out the great pix from this episode's bondage activities, while the pet is back east for a few weeks.

CREEPY MINDFUCK SEX FOR TAX DAY (Get MP3)

Professor ThornDaddy's distance learning BDSM classroom, Lesson 141: The spiritual exercise of taking your lovers to a dark place.

ThornDaddy has harsh mindfuck anal rape play sex with Dollie Llama and the pet, and you get to listen. Then the pet goes home, ThornDaddy and Dollie Llama are sad. They sleep, and then wake up feeling a little better. They sip coffee and talk about creepy mindfuck sex, wonderful spiritual mindfuck sex, God, life, love and cats. They talk about overpopulation, why Catholics are selfish, why racism sucks but why overly correct political correctness also sucks. Then ThornDaddy practically DEMANDS that the Universe give him and Dollie their owed 40 acres (or even five acres and a stipend) NOW! The Universe responds by pushing on ThornDaddy's head with its thumb and laughing at ThornDaddy's little demands.

ThornDaddy and Dollie Llama discuss a funny podcast called "Man and Wife". Daddy and Dollie mull over the meaning of life, and talk about how taking your sex (and your sex partner/s) to a dark place once in a while isn't always a bad thing. They explain the difference between degradation and domination; and explain the difference between humiliation and humility. And why the latter is always better than the former, in both cases.

ANAL TRAINING TWO FEMALE SUBS

Professor ThornDaddy's distance learning BDSM classroom, Lesson 140: anal training two female subs at once, and training women to cum on command.

ThornDaddy and Dollie Llama have anal training sex sessions with the pet, with much fucking in all the holes. Then they talk about sensory depravation, subspace, 101 suggestions for your slave-bitch, "How to Fuck a Woman's Brains Out", Pirates of Silicon Valley, Steal This Film, The Pirate Bay, Creative Commons, and how to take your little-girl princess dream of living happily after with a prince and wrapping it around a couple instead. They discuss what to do if your mom listens to Submission and Coffee (a guide for young adults), why Waco inspires ThornDaddy, what Warren Jeffs and the FLDS did wrong, how they could have done it right, how to not get raided in your own polygynist cult, and why you shouldn't date skinny girls. Then ThornDaddy just decides to grab both make bitches and make them cum, so he does does.

ARMPIT PANTY SEX

Professor ThornDaddy's distance learning - BDSM classroom, Lesson 139: armpit and panty scent play, daddy / daughter play, and enemas.

(By the way, we now have a blog!)

ThornDaddy and Dollie Llama and the pet have armpit panty scent sex. ThornDaddy gives the pet an enema and trains her ass to do what he wants. Then they bedcast! Yay! ThornDaddy is looking for a few very sexual women and Dollie Llama and Daddy are writing new books! Yay! We hear the Strychnine Blotter Party song, "Golden Gate Bridge". ThornDaddy and Dollie Llama and the pet all talk about pigtails on slave gurls, age play, daddy / daughter play for adults, passing out during sex, Bomb's Lovesucker album, not bathing for three days before 3-way sex, and sniffing your slave's panties and sniffing your mother's pantyhose. They also talk about their favorite new bondage blogs: underthisbenevolentdictatorship.blogspot, and feministfucktoy.com, by a femme queer poly 24/7 cuntpet.

ENEMA DATE WITH THE GIRLIES

Professor ThornDaddy's distance learning - BDSM classroom, Lesson 138: enemas, humiliation, and over-the-knee spanking.

(By the way, we now have a blog!)

ThornDaddy ties Dollie Llama to the toilet and gives her an enema while the pet blows him. He spanks the pet. It's nice. The toilet sex is fun and full of implications of humiliation, but is really filled with joy and trust. Again he puts Flex-o-Pleasers in all the holes on both bitches, he slaps on them, makes Dollie cum more on the toilet, and both girlies squirt. A lot. ThornDaddy critiques a critique of his and Dollie's art, they talk about love and God, and ThornDaddy asks for women who love sex to write to him. He has plans for them. Check out the blog for details. He talks about the new book he's writing called "How To Fuck A Woman's Brains Out." They pet their AT&T dedicated server. Then he practices a LOT of OTK spanking on both girls, slaps their tits, and cums in all their holes.

ANAL SEX À LA MODE

Professor ThornDaddy's distance learning - BDSM classroom, Lesson 137: anal sex techniques, home bondage devices, and three-way romance.

(By the way, we now have a blog!)

ThornDaddy and Dollie Llama and the pet have incredibly hot three-way anal sex, with the pet tied to the new toilet bar on the wall from Pervert's Paradise. ThornDaddy slaps both sweet bitches while cumming in all their holes, slaps their faces and tits, then sticks several Flex-o-Pleasers in the bitches sweet sweet holes.

They continue the romantic three-way date among the crickets, get chased by a bug, discuss condenser microphones and why sex toys are art supplies in the hands of Daddy, and how he paints inside of women with his penis. Then they have more kissy kissy lovin' under the open blue skies of Southern California.

BLOWJOBS ALFRESCO

(Professor ThornDaddy's distance learning - BDSM classroom, Lesson 136: making multiple bitches cum multiple times, voice control and public sex)

(Hey! We now have a blog!)

ThornDaddy and Dollie Llama and the pet have incredibly hot three-way sex, with both luscious ladies in pumps, slips and blindfolds. He tells them what to wear, doesn't let them speak and sticks Flex-O-Pleasers in all their holes as he canes their asses. He ties the pet to the new toilet bar on the wall from Pervert's Paradise. ThornDaddy slaps both sweet bitches while cumming in all their holes.

Then they go for a three-way date in the woods, have a picnic and discuss life, love, bugs, nature and the future of the ThornDaddy foundation. Then the girls blow Daddy in the woods, taking turns while the other girl watches to make sure they're not discovered. They imagine they're on their 40 acres, and all kiss and make out, on a sweet, romantic date.

SEX THAT MAKES YOU LEAVE YOUR BODY
(Professor ThornDaddy's Distance learning - BDSM classroom, Lesson 135: sexual levitation, panty sniffing, hardcore fucking, pee play and butthole licking.)

(Hey! We now have a blog!)

ThornDaddy and Dollie Llama have some amazing sex with butthole licking, peeing, slapping, fucking, squirting, and more. Then they discuss their knife play, the pet's pretty panties and Daddy's sniffing of same, group butthole licking for apprentice slave girls, ass slapping, telling your slave she's not allowed to speak, looking at porn while your wife blows you, squirting work-glove fucks, compassionate commerce, monetizing your podcast, the BDSM how-to book they're going to write, Or maybe a hot BDSM instructional video series. Or maybe both. They explain the care and feeding of your subbies (with love, food and cum), and the care and cleaning of your cock, balls and butthole after a your slave does some particularly extensive oral service. They welcome their new devotees in Macedonia, Argentina, India, and their new fan on the board of directors of the Church of the Subgenius.

The discuss the merits of JJ 12AX7 Tesla tubes for SM Pro Audio TB202 rack mount pre-amp/compressor mixers, talk about making girls pee their panties while tied up watching other people have sex, "Diary of an S&M Romance" and YKINMY ("Your kink is not my kink"). Then they speak more on the application of green karma, and explain why pussy scent sniffing is the cocaine of sober people. Then they talk about cool BDSM companies, porn stars and producers like Chanta Rose, Twisted Factory, Madison Young, James Mogul, Men In Pain, The Training of O, Julie Simone, Lena Ramon, Princess Kali, Princess Donna, Wired Pussy, Claire Adams, Darling, and Penny Play.

IMMORTALITY THROUGH IMMORALITY

(Hey! We now have a blog!)

ThornDaddy and Dollie Llama have BDSM anal bondage triple cock-vibrator-vibrator sex, then Dollie talks about how a candlelit dinner and a romantic walk on the beach can involve dripping the candle wax on your lover and putting a leash on her to walk her.

They talk about how their sex is far hotter now that they're not sharing a wall with the lesbians, how one day their little baby server farm will grow into a mighty 40-acre server facility in an armed, gated rural industrial complex, and how the world downloaded 70,000 episodes of "SUBMISSION AND COFFEE" this month.

They explain why Dollie likes it when Daddy ties her feet with a piece of fabric and makes her walk around the house doing chores, talk about blindfolding the pet, and explain why Daddy is a great Dom because he doesn't make his partners choose him over their family obligations. They discuss the science of pheromones, background checks on potential lovers, and how to get more pussy than an SPCA shelter.

They talk even more about the "Pay It Forward" concept in karma and love and art and commerce, and about how if you buy Hummers or spinners, you'll be dying and begging to get into their comfy compound in 30 years.

Then Dollie reads "Sexcast: BDSM Audio Voyeur" a great review by Eva Adivar of "Diary of an S&M Romance" in Lucrezia Magazine.

OUR OLFACTORY ART FACTORY, and the
GLOBAL GANG BANG
ThornDaddy and Dollie Llama have amazing slappy sex involving a Flex-O-Pleaser anal toy. Then they bedcast and Dollie talks about how swing parties were the breaking of a long-sealed dam to reclaim her sexuality, she tells ThornDaddy how she loves it when he cums on her face while Daddy sits on her face and she licks his butthole. Also, this happens, and you get to listen. Dollie's mighty sphincter breaks the Flex-o-pleaser on day one, so they order three more. Dollie passes out twice during the intense sex, then they talk about why ThornDaddy is the perfect Master for Dollie, and why true humiliation is not their kink. Then they talk about the "Pay It Forward" concept, green karma, and taking vows of poverty for your art without suffering for your art.

Then ThornDaddy tells Dollie Llama she's not allowed to speak, and fucks her incredibly well while caning her ass and tits.

ANAIS NIN AND PUSSY SLAPPING
ThornDaddy pees on Dollie Llama's tits while she cums on the floor of the shower stall, then they play with their new bondage bar they got last week at Pervert's Paradise, they talk about how they're going to install hitching posts in the bathroom so they can tie ladies to the toilet.

Daddy ties Dollie's foot to the wall and fucks her until she passes out. He pretends she's a drunk girl at a swing party, fucks her awake, then hits her boobies with a riding crop and drops a load of sweet sweet love between her legs. They discuss their internal bios and morning boot up, and Dollie reads some of Daddy's first published writing, from 1979.

They tell you how to deal with depression, then they read an obituary following the slow, painful death of Bondage.com. They snack on cum torrents with dirty little girl little squirt pets and sniff pets, talk about the Easter Squit seeing his shadow. Then they read some Anais Nin and discuss her wonderful place in kink history. They discuss their plans for 40 (or more) heavily fenced acres of rural land, many kitty cats, acres of rack-mount servers, T-4 lines, stockpiles of ammo and water, with several women in camouflage lingerie and combat boots on the roof of the compound with crossbows and rifles. They remark on "Steal This Book" and "The Book Of The Subgenius" and they tell you how garlic keeps you from getting sick.

And oh yea, "SUBMISSION AND COFFEE" Zip Archive 9, and the new Torrent is up now!

ANAL ROMANCE, AND BITTORRENT AS PRAYER
ThornDaddy and Dollie Llama expound on sub drop, dom drop, "you dirty little cunt" talk, and slapping pussy with a cane. They review two new kink podcasts, I Want Your Sex and Power in Practice. Daddy and Dollie prove that all Californians have sexual spring fever 24/7/365. Dollie blows Daddy for a long time while he looks at porn, describes the porn, and hits Dollie on the ass with a fiberglass cane.

They bedcast about how they're now pushing 20,000 episodes a month out into the world between the podcast, the Podiobook, and BitTorrent. They redefine "'hole-in-the-sheet' couple" then have so much sex it burns a hole in the sheets, and they let you be a kitty in the corner and listen! They pet their little baby torrents, they invest yet more money in getting their "mission from pod" out to the far corners of the earth, and beyond. Dollie comes simply from sniffing Daddy's armpit. Three times, and they beam about the flex-o-pleaser anal toy.

And oh yea, "SUBMISSION AND COFFEE" Zip Archive 9, and the new Torrent is up now!

PROFESSOR THORNDADDY'S SCHOOL FOR WAYWARD GIRLS
(Distance learning - BDSM classroom, lesson 130: OTK spanking, pheromones and 3-way simultaneous orgasms.)

ThornDaddy and Dollie Llama fuck the pet, then talk about sex with the door open, looking for a chemist to help bottle and sell Daddy, and getting weepy, smelly and sexy together. They ruin the pet for any other sex partners, talk about being fluid bonded, Daddy calls the girls into the classroom for many over-the-knee spankings, then he fucks them silly and all three sexy critters cum at the same time.

Daddy pretends he's one of the girls at a 3-girl / 12-man gang bang, they talk about SUBMISSION AND COFFEE'S fans in Tonga, crying while cumming, face slapping, skin pets, pheromones, Dollie's favorite nipple clamps, how to pick out nipple clamps, how to protect your computer ports from nosy governments, Christians and cops with a free program called Peer Guardian 2. They show you how "SUBMISSION AND COFFEE" is helping the current generation of young adults be more accepting of their BDSM. They intelligently discuss Home Depot as a source for pervertibles. The ponder life, love, kitties, safe words, why holidays suck, and then they play out a kidnapping fantasy with the pet, have even more awesome 3-way bondage sex and all orgasm at the same time again. The pet almost cries as she has to leave the nest and go spend two weeks back in the plastic world before her next spanking training and life lessons.

Eau de Daddy commercial
Fake advertisement for a new cologne made from ThornDaddy's sweat that's "guaranteed to get you laid, or triple your money back." MUST BE OF LEGAL AGE TO LISTEN, LIKE ANYTHING FROM THIS SITE.

HE IS RISEN! (Happy Easter! 3-way bondage sex!)
What do we need to say? Two joyfully compliant female subs (Dollie and the pet), one masterful man (ThornDaddy), fucking, slapping, and celebrating the spring and rebirth....discussing life, love, cats and shoes. They have a picnic, then have some more sex, and talk about how BDSM makes their lives perfect and complete. (And they also tell you how to protect your car's registration tags from thieves.)

HAPPY ANAL EASTER!!!
ThornDaddy and Dollie Llama get ready for the pet by giving Dollie an enema. Daddy decides he's going to do some hard anal training on the pet this weekend. Daddy fucks Dollie HARD, in the ass and then the pussy, as he slaps her tits and calls her dirty names.

Then the pet shows up and the three of them make sweet sweet bondage love, with Daddy in command. He makes both bitches dress in slips and pumps and do his bidding. He fucks the wife in both her hot holes, fucks the pet in her sweet cunt while slapping both chicks. Then he orchestrates further fun by making them 69, Dollie on top, and fucks Dollie in the ass while she licks the pet's snatch, and the pet licks Dollie's snatch, while the pet has a good close-up view of hot anal action, and licks ThornDaddy's balls. Daddy comes on, and in, both gals, and they collapse, trembling in a kitty cat pile.

Daddy's naked talk show with two girls continues as they eat midnight snacks in Dollie's room, pet the kitties, and talk about Easter, undoing religious guilt, and why Daddy (and the bitches) deserves this.

We close with Dollie reading from some of her favorite slave training literature, "The Taming of The Shrew."

Then Daddy puts Easter grass and marshmallow peeps on the girls' pussies and takes photos for StuffOnMySlave.com.

SEX , SUBMISSION, AND THE POWER OF GOOD
ThornDaddy and Dollie Llama talk have hot slappy squirting bondage sex. Then they bedcast, have "Breakfast with the ThornDaddys" and talk about building a cat-shit catapult, why spinners and bling are a waste of time, how pussy squirt is NOT urine, why they think "American Idol" sucks, how to survive the coming economic and social collapse with sweet sweet pussy juice and plenty of ammo, fucking the shit out of women, plump porn girls dropped off by their Doms to do filthy slutty porn - as punishment AND reward, Dollie's new slave screensaver, why they love the old TV show "News Radio", how Phil Hartman influenced Stephen Colbert, how to fuck ten times a day, how to deal with premature ejaculation "dollie slips", how "SUBMISSION AND COFFEE" helps thousands of women get a more fair shake in this fucked-up world, why "SUBMISSION AND COFFEE" is educational erotic literature (NOT porn), and the amazing bands Bomb, Helios Creed, and an LSD story involving death threats, fans on the bus, and San Francisco's premiere punk club, The CW Saloon.

ThornDaddy and Dollie Llama reflect on how "SUBMISSION AND COFFEE" helps Scandinavian listeners bear the brunt of the Midnight Sun and the Polar Night, read notes from some of the listeners in many countries who listen in their cubicles, on the Skytrain! On the bus! And on long plane trips to Japan.

Then they give their fabulous microphone away to the contest winner, Koda Bear, and tell you how and where to download archive zips of 15 to 20 "SUBMISSION AND COFFEE" episodes, either from the Website, or via BitTorrent. And tell you that once you've downloaded them, feel free to burn data DVDs and share them with friends! Spread the slishy love! Make the world a better place for women. (Also for men and for cats.)

THE ANCIENT LESBIAN HAND TECHNIQUE
Dollie demonstrates and explains "the Ancient Lesbian Hand Technique" on the pet (formerly "the maid"), and you get to listen. This secret system was handed down to the ThornDaddys from a former playgirl. Daddy watches and beats off, then fucks the pet from behind, kitty style, while the pet blows Dollie. They have squiratsic, nestenna, female ejaculation fun.

ThornDaddy and Dollie Llama and the pet talk about the Orgone laser they'll have on the roof of the compound on their 40-acre sex farm, then drive the pet out to Hidden Valley and go window shopping for 40-acre parcels. Daddy explains why the word "pet" sounds humiliating, but in a loving way. Then ThornDaddy takes a nap, tells the wife and the pet to go in the other room and have sex, and of course, they do. They gleefully talk about it with Daddy after.

ThornDaddy gives the pet admin privileges on his network so she can help administer the ThornDaddy Foundation's global empire from her iPhone. Dollie and the pet tell squicky dom horror stories from the past, giggle, then have more sex, then the pet goes back home. She doesn't want to leave.

Daddy's sleeps 8 hours for the first time in a week, then wakes up and Dollie tells him why his smell is better than cocaine. They chat about a great BDSM essay, dungeon fun, rope play, lipstick butthole, caning pussy, squirting snapping pussy, Azuerus vs. Bittorrent, retiring to Australia, how the "New Zoo Review" changed ThornDaddy's life as a kid, how to find the G-spot, what the Skenes gland is and why Dollie is bisexual only when Daddy tells her to be.

THREE-WAY ULTRAPORN
ThornDaddy and Dollie Llama talk about how their podcast will either start WWIII or create peace in the middle east. And how either might be fun. They talk about why Dollie is the "Dear Abby" of kink, and how the love and respect that they show for each other is spreading out to others throughout the world like ripples in a pond.

Daddy puts a play collar on the maid, grabs both the girls by the collars and fucks one girl, HARD, while the other masturbates, then he switches bitches. Daddy sticks his dick in and rides one pussy, then the other, back and forth and back and forth, until five in the morning.

They tell you how to win the home version of "SUBMISSION AND COFFEE". They dress up, leave the nest, go to a play party at a dungeon, have a great time, and then decide "Let's never do that again."

The maid realizes that hanging out with ThornDaddy and Dollie Llama six days a month is better than 24/7 with most men. It's more than a great time, more than the greatest time. It's also a whole lotta amazing life lessons.

NEW!!!! "SUBMISSION AND COFFEE" ARCHIVE 8 - ZIP AND TORRENT UP NOW. GO GET IT! HELP OUT AND SHARE! DETAILS HERE.

COME FOR THE SEX, STAY FOR THE TALK
The maid comes to the nest for the weekend, and slappy squirty fun ensues. They all three read a fan letters from folks who say the podcast and book have seriously changed their lives. They welcome their new BitTorrent listeners in Albania, Singapore, Finland, Switzerland and Austria. They wonder if anyone's learning English from listening to SAC.

ThornDaddy and Dollie Llama play with the maid and ThornDaddy suffers from impotence. Yeah, it happens (about one day ever two years for ThornDaddy.) But this is a teaching hospital so he's happy to tell you about it. He gladly teaches you the cure for impotence.

He still satisfies the two women many times with his cock and comes five times himself. He teaches you his ancient domly secrets of how to overcome impotence, and the ladies thank him for it. The girls sniff Daddy's crotch, one sucks his dick while the other kisses his butthole, then they switch. There is much caning and seriously hard and beautiful bondage sex. Daddy finally gets it up and fucks both sweet bitches, then Daddy professes his undying love to Dollie as the maid gets cavities. NEW!!!! "SUBMISSION AND COFFEE" ARCHIVE 8 - ZIP AND TORRENT UP NOW. GO GET IT! HELP OUT AND SHARE! DETAILS HERE.

SHE ALWAYS CRIES WHEN SHE CUMS
ThornDaddy and Dollie Llama talk about how Daddy's bed is a cloud of pheromones and is turning into an orgone energy accumulator that can cure the sick. They tell you how to speed up BitTorrent, how to enable scheduling in BitTorrent. They rap about Austrian sex researcher Wilhelm Reich and his book, The Function of the Orgasm: Discovery of the Orgone. They talk about trampy dolls, why happy submissive women make Daddy smile, and why the movie "Dazed and Confused" resembles their childhoods. They talk about BDSM Religious Warfare, and read the most amazing fan letter ever. Then Daddy spanks Dollie and fucks her until she cums with joy. She talks about why Daddy's dick makes her cry and how it is a high-speed fiber optic conduit to his soul.

Then they have a contest to give away a high-quality MXL V63M condenser microphone that has been used to record many "SUBMISSION AND COFFEE" episodes.

SEX, CZECHS, TITTIES AND LACE
ThornDaddy and Dollie Llama welcome their new BitTorrent listeners from the Czech Republic and Australia. They talk about their cats, the movie The Crow, and talk about great lingerie sources, Secrets in Lace and StockinGirl.com. They discuss Daddy's amazing energy level (in the bed and out), then do the math on how many thousands of orgasms occur in Daddy's bed per month. They read a letter from a nutty, cute fan who wants to fuck them and Daddy reads his reply of why he told her "No". They talk about the difference between a slave and a slut (and why Daddy likes slaves more.) Then have hot squirty bondage sex while Daddy slaps Dollie's titties with a new cane from The StockRoom.

This episode has all the sex at the end. Daddy timed it for the maid's pleasure and anticipation. He told her to download it on Thursday, but not listen until the start of her drive to the Nest on Friday. She'll be listening to the end of the sex as she walks through their door. And of course, she's agreed to this.

HARD CORE GEAR PORN
ThornDaddy and Dollie Llama sit around in the living room listening to birds chirp while petting their cats and professing their love for each other as they watch the evening sun dapple on the wall through the trees into their window. They talk about how they want to spend every sunset for the rest of their lives together.

Then everything shifts gear as the UPS guy pulls up, delivers Daddy's new computer and Dollie's new vibrator. Daddy goes into gear porn mode setting up his new BitTorrent server to do his bidding as Dollie shoves the new vibrator up her cooch many times. Then Daddy orders Dollie into pantyhose, rips the crotch out, and fucks her while slapping her ass.

GRIND THEM INTO CAT FOOD!!!
ThornDaddy and Dollie Llama leave the nest to do some errands and so Daddy can get a cop haircut. But it's scary out there! There's humans! Bleah! And they are dull, slow, opinionated, egotistical, sexist, and they're drinking beer. Bleah! So Daddy and Dollie come home and record their sixth podcast in six days. A new record for them. They have lots of slappy squirting bondage sex, blowjobs for Daddy on command (while he looks at plump girl porn), and then talk about the maid coming this weekend and how they're gonna take her to a play party. And she's new to that, and a little shy. But they'll be gentle. Then Dollie talks about her insanely cummy panties as she cleans the cat box in pumps and a slip.

DADDY'S FAT PIPE
ThornDaddy and Dollie Llama don't get a T-1 line, they get a ULTRA-HIGH SPEED 10 MBPS FIBER OPTIC LINE, which is faster! Yay! The plans for world domination are approaching fruition! He also ordered a third computer, which he's gonna use dedicated to uploading Torrents of mega-zips of SAC episodes:
LENOVO ThinkCentre A61E 641712U computer. He also got 2 gigs of heat-sinked server RAM.

ThornDaddy and Dollie Llama talk about the movie "Strange Days" and its sexy rape scene, they welcome their new listeners in Bulgaria, and Daddy fucks and sucks Dollie, and she fucks and sucks him, and sniffs his armpit on command IN BETWEEN THE TALKING. (That's right, they're trying something new. The sex is not separate from the chatting, it's integrated WITH the chatting!) They talk about disciplining your slave. Dollie talks about her first online experience, back in the day, on a 8700 baud acoustic-coupled modem, and they both talk about how Fox has compared SAC to "head lice". Then Daddy orders Dollie into the kitchen where she belongs, she thanks him, and he rubs her pussy to praise and thank her.

THE MOST ROMANTIC PORN IN THE WORLD!
This episode dedicated to all the sexy women listening to us on ear buds in their cubicles at work!

Open your legs, then open your mouth! It's 76 degrees and sunny in the Bunny Pit, and ThornDaddy and Dollie Llama go out to the top of a hill in a field, see an egret, bring folding chairs, sit under the old oak tree, have a picnic and spread sweet D/s love into soul as they lick your pretty little ear buds! They talk about why anticipation is so fun for subs, about how beastly their cats can be, about the upcoming "SUBMISSION AND COFFEE" video feed, and about why "SUBMISSION AND COFFEE" is the most romantic porn in the world. They discuss methods for keeping your playgirls' hearts at a safe distance, how Daddy went from being a destitute junkie to being a happy famous author living in a fancy suburb, how computers changed their lives, BBS, dial-up, and why DSL is no longer enough. Then they come back to the nest and have some daddy/daughter play as Daddy gives Dollie some sweet loving over-the-knee spanking and tells her what a good little girl she's being. Then Daddy dons pumps and panties and orders Dollie to top him as he plays out his fantasies of being a barely legal little virgin fed to a pack of male and female bikers, all night long baby.

THE SUN NEVER SETS ON THE THORNDADDDY FOUNDATION
"SUBMISSION AND COFFEE" is now being enjoyed in: Greece, Thailand, France, US, Canada, Sweden, Norway, Germany, Belgium, Malaysia, Italy, Spain, Poland, Russia, Denmark, UK, Netherlands, Columbia, Ireland, Portugal, Japan, Romania, Hungary, Estonia, Niue, Serbia and Montenegro, Mauritius, Iceland.

To celebrate, ThornDaddy and Dollie Llama have some hot slappy bondage love. Daddy makes her wear a slip and lick his butthole while he beats off. He pees on her for being a good girl, she barks like a dog, and he blisters her ass black and blue with a whip, cums on her face, and slaps her face and rubs her pussy while wearing work gloves. Then they actually have some sex. They watch a Tom Waits movie called "Down By Law", and they love it. They watch the Shield, then go sit in a field on a sunny Southern California winter day, listen to cricket, see a bunny, and talk about Christian anti-porn and anti-masturbation crusades, and about what makes a good sub. They talk about why the maid is a good sub. Daddy talks about how he got interested in cults, They come home, Dollie sniffs Daddy's butthole and armpit, they have more sex, and Dollie squirts as Daddy spits on her tits, licks her ear and professes his undying love to her.

PARTY PARTY GIRL DOLL, ALL NIGHT LONG, part two of two.

Hos in stereo! Male/female/female suburban threesome swinger bondage fuck!

ThornDaddy and Dollie Llama sit on a bed with the maid, after she wakes up from spending the night and all they fuck twice. They talk about netiquette, 24-7 BDSM, the many countries where people are downloading "SUBMISSION AND COFFEE" on BitTorrent. They talk about "I Love Lucy" and "I Dream of Jeanie" as D/s, and the very best makeup for sluts to wear on heavy long sex sessions,

ThornDaddy then slaps the maid's face while fucking Dollie, then slaps Dollie's face while fucking the maid, with love. The sweet submissive bitches fucking adore it. One girl licks Daddy's butthole while the other one sucks his dick, and he beats both girl's tits and ass red with a cane, all night long, with love. Then ThornDaddy does a nice aftercare demo, petting the sweet, smart, pretty sexy sluts.

SQUIRTING KITTY LEASH SEX
(episode 116, released out of order before episode 114, which is coming soon).

ThornDaddy and Dollie Llama have amazingly molten-hot slappy squiring bondage sex, for the fourth time today. Daddy puts a dog leash on Dollie and fucks her. He wraps the leash around her leg and ties it to her pumps. He fucks her and slaps her face, tweaks her titties and grabs her pubic mound until she squirts a pint of pussy juice on the bed. Then he rubs the rough sandpaper-like sparkles of the leash on her pussy and she cums again.

They bedcast and talk about life, love, the maid, cats, translating "Diary of an S&M Romance" into Portuguese, and these new countries that are currently enjoying BitTorrent archives of "SUBMISSION AND COFFEE": Ireland, Portugal, Japan, Romania, Hungary, Estonia, Niue (an island nation located in the South Pacific Ocean, Population: 1679) and Serbia and Montenegro (formerly part of Yugoslavia). Then ThornDaddy and Dollie Llama tell you about a cool new site for submissives called "Safe place for Subs and Slaves". Then we hear another song by ThornDaddy's friends, "The War Hippies".

BEST DAY EVER! DADDY CROTCH SNIFFIN' AND PICNIC
Episode 115 (released out of order before releasing episode 114 with the maid, but hey, we can do what we want. If you don't like it, we'll gladly refund the cost of listening to this podcast.)

ThornDaddy and Dollie Llama go out on a date in the woods and have a picnic among crows, woodpeckers, and two bugs fucking. ThornDaddy gave Dollie a black eye (after she begged him to) while fucking, and Dollie tells you the best makeup to use to cover that up. They exercise their first and second amendment rights, listen to their friends the War Hippies, then go buy a crowbar, and run around outside the nest. Then they return and ThornDaddy fucks Dollie silly, while slapping the shit out of her, and she loves it. Then they listen to Led Zeppelin while Daddy feeds Dollie a spoonful of frozen cum.

ThornDaddy's crotch smells like a men's room mixed with a whorehouse on payday and is covered with dried menstrual blood from the weekend with the maid. Dollie keeps sniffing and sucking Daddy. She cums just from sniffing his armpit.

And hey...WE'RE HAVING ANOTHER BITTORRENT ROLL OUT, this time of Zips 6 and 7, which are the most important ones yet. They contain the two Podiobooks, and also each one has hot three-way stuff with other girls, and contain our most spiritual SAC

PARTY PARTY GIRL DOLL, ALL NIGHT LONG, part one of two. Hos in stereo! Male/female/female suburban threesome swinger bondage fuck!

The maid comes back, fixes ThornDaddy's dinner with Dollie, and then ThornDaddy fucks and slaps both of them many many times. They do this while listening to Daddy's old band. The maid's on her period and ThornDaddy doesn't give a shit. (Real men aren't afraid of pussy blood.) There is much sucking, fucking, butthole licking, squirting and flogging as two hot submissive women serve a powerful dominant man, all fucking night long. ThornDaddy beats both girls' tits and ass red with a cane. He breaks the cane in the process.

Then they retire to the other bedroom and chat about cats, D/s, love, and everything under the sun. Then the girls go food shopping, and ThornDaddy stares out the window, pets Charlie cat, and Daddy talks to you about the power of BDSM in his soul. He pours this love straight into your heart.

The maid spends the night, and the adventures will continue in the next episode.

SEDUCTION OF THE MAID (part two of two, "THE FUCKING OF THE MAID")
A really cool, really pretty "SUBMISSION AND COFFEE" fan comes over to the Nest and gets fucked by ThornDaddy. ThornDaddy fucks dollie and the maid, with clothespins on both their boobies, and a great time is had by all. Even though the maid is shy and says "How did that happen?" when it's over. (Though she says she is really looking forward to coming back. She's "been bouncing between a Cheshire cat grin and blushing all day".)

BY THE WAY, we're going to do a coordinated international BitTorrent rollout of SAC archive zips this week, so if you want to participate (and get on Golden Floppy Disc of Redemption), download zips 3, 4, and 5, grab the torrents from the top of this page, then e-mail ThornDaddy and let us know you're sharing them.)

THE SEDUCTION OF THE MAID (part one of two)
A really cool, really pretty "SUBMISSION AND COFFEE" fan comes over to the Nest on an 80 degree SoCal winter day and does some housework for the ThornDaddys to help make it easier on them while Dollie recovers from surgery. She has permission from her Dom to do so, and he's also given her his blessings to play if she wants.

She does a great job cleaning the bathroom, then sits in on a recording of an episode. They all talk about Poly, life, love, cats, iPhones, and the weather.

She's shy and opts not to play, but agrees to watch ThornDaddy and Dollie Llama getting' it on. The maid is just watching at first, but ends up getting turned on and diddling herself. ThornDaddy asks permission to diddle her, and she happily agrees. ThornDaddy is rubbing both women's pussies and there is fun all around. (This will morph into the next episode, "The fucking of the maid", but you'll have to wait a day or two for that episode.)

The maid ends up on the Golden Floppy Disc of Redemption for her efforts, is invited back, and says she is really looking forward to coming back.

BY THE WAY, we're going to do a coordinated international BitTorrent rollout of SAC archive zips this week, so if you want to participate (and get on Golden Floppy Disc of Redemption), download zips 3, 4, and 5, grab the torrents from the top of this page, then e-mail ThornDaddy and let us know you're sharing them.)

BREAKFAST IN BED WITH THE THORNDADDYS
Day two of Dollie's post-surgery ordeal. Daddy sweetly waits on his slave hand and foot, and they discuss the loving 24/7 D/s commitment of "through sickness and through health", while eating breakfast in bed and petting the squittens. MEW!

DOLLIE SURVIVED HER SURGERY! YAY!
Dollie is home, nesting comfortably after her shoulder surgery, and in some odd medical bondage device.
ThornDaddy and Dollie Llama talk about why Cosmopolitan Magazine lies to women (or at least doesn't tell any useful truths). Daddy and Dollie tell you how to produce art so great that your disciples will send people to fuck your friend, sight unseen. She and Daddy discuss the fact that Spock is a chubby chaser, explain Furverts, Yiffing, Kitty tail butt plugs, and tell you how to make an obnoxious panhandler give YOU a dollar, why ThornDaddy is a hero to some Domme women, why The Plump Buffet is making heads turn worldwide, their many fans in Australia, how to subscribe to podcasts on iTunes, why ThornDaddy likes getting woken up by noise sometimes, how to get a girl to come do housework free (and why ThornDaddy is so turned on by the thought of women doing housework), how "Pussy begets pussy", (even if it's man pussy), why it's so hard for a couple to get and keep rainy day sub slave girls, people who listen to "SUBMISSION AND COFFEE" on the Muni, on the BART, and a little bit on the Cambridge UK buses, how ThornDaddy became a Dom that people aspire to be like in less than three years, the new Talkingsexradio.com Ning social group.

They talk about how to make your sex play fearless, how "SUBMISSION AND COFFEE" can give you the best sex that you've ever had in 7 years, and how to find a great wife who can fuck, suck, cook and clean (and be good at all of them).

Then they explain why you should download all the SAC you can now, so someday you can crouch in your cave and listen on a solar-powered iPod as the world collapses.

HOT CRICKETS AND FROZEN CUM!
KINKY VANILLA LOVE! Tales from the vault! We find an oldie but goodie we never used. ThornDaddy and Dollie Llama go up on the hill on a hot summer night, listen to the crickets, hold hands, then Daddy plays with Dollie's boobies under the stars!

Before and after that, ThornDaddy and Dollie Llama have unbelievably kinky slappy hot bondage sex. And ThornDaddy also feeds Dollie Llama two or three spoons of frozen cum.

HAPPY VD! THE PODIOBOOK IS DONE!
Happy Valentine's Day from "SUBMISSION AND COFFEE"!

ThornDaddy and Dollie Llama talk briefly about how their new free Podiobook is DONE! GET IT NOW!
Then they have WAY TOO MUCH slappy slutty squirting slishy sex!!!!!

TURN YOUR WIFE INTO A VIBRATING ROBO-WHORE
HOW TO WIN THE TOP PLACE IN ThornDaddy and Dollie Llama's HEARTS! (MUST LIVE WITHIN FIVE HOURS' DRIVE OF WASHINGTON DC), Cats with Pica, women's availability for use, lending your slave out for other people's housework, updates about ThornDaddy and Dollie Llama's upcoming kinky curvy cat cult comedy Podiobook, The Plump Buffet, and a contest to win something very cool!

ThornDaddy plays a new remix of the "ULTRAPORN" song, feeds Dollie TWO SCOOPS of frozen cum, rubs her pussy through her panties, and slaps her face. She cums three times, and says "Thank you, Sir!"

They talk about how producers can get their artists to say "thank you daddy" after each take. They talk about childhood guilt, and how to delete it. They discuss why ThornDaddy only likes the taste of cum before he cums, the amazing INFLATABLE VIBRATING ROBO WHORE BUTTPLUG, some talk about Doc Johnson stores in DC, stuff about Johnny Thunders and Mink DeVille, more about "Operation Dollie", how StuffOnMySlave.com now has STUFF, why ThornDaddy and Dollie Llama are throwing their TV away in 2009 when all TV goes digital, how "SUBMISSION AND COFFEE" is helping vanilla people worldwide explore their inner kink in a loving way, the many people who listen to "SUBMISSION AND COFFEE" at work on headphones, fans who want to send wet panties, why people love what they've come up with in "SUBMISSION AND COFFEE", the number-one BDSM podcast on iTunes…..I mean....who WOULDN'T want to hear about their cats, or hear ThornDaddy's old band????

PROOFERS NEEDED, AND DRIVEWAY SEX
In this short episode, ThornDaddy and Dollie Llama play you the wonderful promo for their upcoming kinky curvy cat cult comedy Podiobook, The Plump Buffet. Then Daddy meets Dollie in the driveway, brings her in and feeds her cum. In all her holes. Then Daddy does the "Hi! My name is Steve, and I'll be your impregnator this evening" fantasy.

They also ask for three talented people to earn their place on the GOLDEN FLOPPY DISC OF REDEMPTION by volunteering to do some audio proofing of the rough cut of the Podiobook.

YAY!

FUCK THE SUPER BOWL, LET'S FUCK
(Recorded during the Super Bowl, while NOT watching it.)

ThornDaddy and Dollie Llama talk about why Dollie looks like a sinning housewife in her slip, fantasies with women as baby factories, why ThornDaddy wants to fuck women to repopulate the earth after the final battle (even though he's fixed), why Dollie can't answer e-mails for the next three months, why "any real man will have sex with any woman, anywhere, any time", Netiquette, how to get laid if you're in a band, how to get a gig as a writer for a kink site, resources for people new to kink, Dollie's pending surgery, how cats are "entropy with fur", and where to get Submission and Coffee blank journals, kneeling pillows, T-shirts, Teddy bears, panties, dog shirts, BBQ aprons, thongs, boxer shorts, coasters, clocks, mouse pads and calendars. And why Daddy hates "social networking".

They talk about how Daddy is firmly but gently Doming Dollie into being a great artist in every medium he's great in.

They discuss anal sex tips, what's kinky about Lawrence Welk, how the world is going to hell and most TV sucks, converting the vanilla, Daddy's funny dreams, loving their little bitches, and their new site (which you can submit pix to), StuffOnMySlave.com.

Then they have hot nasty 69 D/s sex, then they have a hot nasty marathon slappy bondage sex session.

ANAL SEX DEMO WITH ROPE PLAY
ThornDaddy uses Dollie Llama as a demo dolly. He uses her to have marital fun as well as to demonstrate and explain anal fisting, pussy fisting, rope play (using ropes from www.illicitropes.com), anal fucking, vibrator play, telling your slave how to dress, how to have SOUL SEX, and the aftercare of your sweet and lovely subbie.

We hear a rough mix of a new song by MOTHER AND THE FUCKERS called
"I Love My Little Bitches".

Then those little nestlings Daddy and Dollie chat about how to have sex every two hours and how to be married while playing with other little anal whores who will want to come back. They talk about Tiger Balm anal sex, the care and feeding of your sex toys and whips, why T/they don't use BDSM "S/slash speak", why they don't do cyber, how to find women who enjoy casual sex just for the hell of it, how to have sex with 150 partners, BDSM vs. vanilla mindsets, pink cars, "Diary of an S&M Marriage", felching cum out of your wife's ass, women who drip cum when they cough, how to be the best dom (or sub) you can possibly be, and when Penelope is coming back to the nest. They speak eloquently about the Declaration of Independence, The Torturer's Apprentice, Neuromancer, and some other fine literature they like, including their next podiobook, "The Plump Buffet".

YOU COMPLETE ME. NOW GO TO SLEEP UNTIL I'M READY TO USE YOUR HOLES AGAIN
Dollie's off work for the week for her shoulder…She's spending her vacation lying in bed, masturbating, and being available for Daddy to use when he wants a break from answering their fan mail. And Daddy's fucking her at least every two hours.

Daddy fucks Dollie while slapping her, yells "squirt for Daddy!" and she does.

Then Dollie Llama reads THE DECLARATION OF INDEPENDENCE, then they talk about it.

ThornDaddy and Dollie Llama discuss people who lie about their ages on kink sites, how to find "the One", Alpha cats, how to get magnificently fucked five times today, why ThornDaddy laughs at boner pill spam, why bruises are "nature's makeup", why they love giving back to the worldwide BDSM community, why Podcast Pickle rocks, why "SUBMISSION AND COFFEE" is better than food, and what to do if iTunes store ever stops allowing kink podcasts again.

They talk about the cool new free kink community site, TriskelionSociety.com (site is still in beta, but the forum is open, and is HERE), how listening to "SUBMISSION AND COFFEE" will make you more confident and effective in your daily life and get you a promotion at work, why they love G.G. Allin's unique brand of folk rock, and why drugs have no place in play.

They explain BDSM Protocol, and tell you their thoughts on the difference between Top/bottom, Master/slave, Dom/sub, and switching. They recommend some resources, Acid Test For Doms, BDSM U, and advocate some nifty books: SM 101, The Loving Dominant, The New Bottoming Book, The Ethical Slut, and of course, Diary of an S&M Romance.

Then they give away a great word processor, an Alphasmart Neo.

(The Alphasmart has been given away, to Johnnybadd2007.)

PEEING ON CENSORSHIP
ThornDaddy and Dollie Llama talk about censorship throughout the ages, talk about Bill Bryson's amazing literature, BDSM consent forms, their loyal listeners, how "Submission and Coffee" is cooler than Led Zeppelin, touring the world from their bedroom, and slapping your wife in different ways as a bruise sampler to show first-time play girls

They talk about J. Edgar Hoover's attitude about blow jobs, J. Edgar Hoover's attitude about cross-dressing, girls on leashes on the bus, rape play with rubber glove sex, squirting sex with your BDSM whore wife, how to dress when swinging in the suburbs, how sexy their voices are, BDSM mentoring by example, where to buy cheap clover clamps, and women's rights.

Then ThornDaddy pees on his wife three times, fucks her once, then they read the dirty slutty search terms that bring people into the InterNest.

SUBURBAN SWINGER BONDAGE MORESOME WITH "SUBMISSION AND COFFEE"
"Two girls for every boy"! ThornDaddy and Dollie Llama celebrate the momentous occasion of the 100th EPISODE OF THE "SUBMISSION AND COFFEE" FREE BDSM PODCAST by recording play with a foxy and very sexual woman they met on the Internet. (ThornDaddy and Dollie Llama love you, the listener, so much, that they open their "teaching hospital" up to strenuous sexual theatrics on a day when ThornDaddy's back is sore and Dollie's shoulder hurts.) ThornDaddy drags his mattress into his soundproofed recording studio and sets up the dungeon with all the whips, cuffs and toys. SO…this sexy MILF named "Penelope X.K. Moi" comes over and does stuff with ThornDaddy in command…he's telling both sluts what to do. They start with a scintillating medical examination scenario, in stirrups, from the moment the woman walks in the door. Penelope is bi-curious, but has never been with a woman. Dollie blows Penelope (and they both love it), while ThornDaddy beats off on Penelope's tits and calls her a slut. Penelope is new to bondage, but is willing to learn, and she takes direction well. ThornDaddy ties her to Dollie, fucks Penelope in her in the ass, then puts an inflatable buttplug up Penelope's ass, and inflates it while he fucks Dollie in the ass and pussy. He puts nipple clamps on Dollie, fingers Penelope's tits with work gloves, and turns both gals into the moaning slutty little fuck dolls they were born to be. Both slutty trollops follow all of ThornDaddy's orders, and all three have a cat-tastic great time of spiritual smutty slappy sex. He slaps and canes their asses as he slimes these human sperm gardens all night long. Then he puts on a Leonard Cohen song, gets sentimental, dances with Dollie, renews his marriage vows with her, puts frozen cum in her mouth, then has more sex with both slut pops ThornDaddy then makes these incredibly foxy mature fuckholes talk about what makes them tick….They talk about Los Angeles dungeons they like: Lair De Sade, Passive Arts, Threshold, and then make a date to take Penelope to the dungeon soon, to make her do stuff to ThornDaddy and Dollie while strangers watch. They talk about how to avoid dangerous doms, how to beg during orgasm denial, and we finally learn how ThornDaddy became kinky. Penelope pets Charlie cat, everyone hugs, then Penelope goes home, with a plan to come back. NOTE: All participants are over 21. Well over 21. (NOTE: In addition to our usual in-force age disclaimer, this episode carries an additional and nugatory warning:WARNING THIS EPISODE CONTAINS ULTRAPORN. IF YOU ARE UNDER 43 YEARS OLD, YOU ARE NOT OLD ENOUGH TO LISTEN TO ULTRAPORN. (FOR YOUR OWN SAFETY, IF YOU ARE UNDER 43 YEARS OLD, DO NOT LISTEN TO ULTRAPORN. IF YOU ARE UNDER 43 YEARS OLD, TURN OF YOUR COMPUTER NOW, BURN IT, AND SPREAD THE ASHES ON THE EARTH WHERE NOTHING WILL EVER BE EXPECTED TO GROW. THANK YOU.) Keywords: Mature hot suburban swingers. Edge play, ultra bondage, slutty slapping, medical play, MFF moresome MP3, Spiritual sex, Free bondage sex, Audio whores, threesome, anal 3some, MP3 slaves, Bi-curious

99 SPOONS OF CUM ON THE WALL, 99 SPOONS OF CUM....
The NINETY-NINTH EPISODE of "SUBMISSION AND COFFEE"! ThornDaddy and Dollie Llama prepare for their incredible 100th episode by reading you the medical play scenario script they wrote for the play girl coming over this weekend.

Nurse Dollie is on Vicodin for her shoulder. She is very, um, mellow, as Daddy rubs her pussy with rubber gloves and inspects her pussy and pets her in special places, while feeding her a Lovin' Spoonful of 10CC of Dr. Feelgood's Hot Lava on a Love Rollercoaster of Afternoon Delight. They sit in bed and bedcast and Charlie purrs, happily recovering from her coyote ordeal. They talk about why so many people are digging this podcast and "Diary of an S&M Romance". They talk about what "ULTRAPORN" is, and why you have to be over 25 to listen to it.

They discuss hypersexuality, furor uterinus, satyriasis, nymphomania, sex addiction, drugs, sexual intrigue, SLAA, CODA, codependence, 12-step fellowships, recovery from drugs, sex and recovery, and sexy fags who have lots of sex on speed with random strangers, and hot broken women who are strippers.

Then we hear yet another song by one of Daddy's old bands, The Beef People.

THE DIRTIEST WORD IN THE WORLD!
ThornDaddy and Dollie Llama have some incredible 69 sex, he slaps her. He fucks her and pets her all over, while wearing work gloves.

Then they answer the questions, "Are sexual slaves prisoners in their own homes?" and "How does a budding pain slut get the nerve to ask for pain in play the first time?" They talk about lipstick on panties, dirty panty sniffing, menopause, eunoterpsia, what really happens during a vasectomy, and why you should get one anyway. They talk about OneStopSubShop.com, how most TV and radio sucks, and that's why they podcast, and how "SUBMISSION AND COFFEE" is turning into "The Winchester Mystery House" of kink.

They discuss getting contacted by old play partners, razor strop play, making semi-normal people say very kinky things, and have them love it (they also play you some recordings of that). They talk about the absolute dirtiest swear word in the world, and how to get on The Golden Floppy Disc of Redemption! They talk about the "butter and seaman diet", the pros and cons of people wanting to fuck them because they're famous kink podcasters, how sex is a resource (like water), and why they spend all their time writing, planning, speaking and editing so people around the world can sit in their big fluffy chairs and listen….and why that's one of the coolest things in the world. Then we hear another song by one of Daddy's old bands, The Beef People.

MAKE THE VANILLA GIRL TWITCH!
ThornDaddy blesses Dollie Llama with the gift of brutal slappy anal D/s sex. He fucks her in the ass until she passes out. While she's passed out, he keeps fucking her, pretending she's the drunk girl at the party. As she comes to, he keeps fucking her and tells her that "episode 100 of Submission and Coffee is going to be nothing but recordings of us having slappy sex with the sexy woman who's coming over next weekend. Then he says "squirt for Daddy" and she does.

Then they have their very cute vanilla girlfriend come over. ThornDaddy asks her a bunch of humiliating questions about her sex life. She squirms, blushes, and then spills about how she recently had hot sex with three different guys in the same week. (One of them in public!)

ThornDaddy tells the vanilla girl what "pervertables" are, tells her how "blow jobs are really just a handshake" and gets her to delve deeper into her sometimes-sordid past. Dollie tells the vanilla girl why dollie has the passions of a woman with the guilt of a robot, and ThornDaddy tells her why "blowjobs are just like handshakes". then they eat a yummy dinner. Then we hear a song called "Industrial Jelly" by Daddy's old band, The Beef People. (Daddy played guitar and bells, and Brian played paper cutter on this one.)

Then we hear a promo for the upcoming Podiobook from ThornDaddy and Dollie Llama, "The Plump Buffet". And a promo for our friends the Nobilis Erotica podcast.

ThornDaddy blows Dollie Llama. And vs. versa. in a buttery 69 roundelay.

VAGINAL SECRETIONS FROM CUTE PLUMP REDNECK SUBBIE GIRLS!
ThornDaddy jacks off while Dollie Llama Master-baits for her master. ThornDaddy tells her to tweak his nipples while they pretend they're lesbians posing and doing mutual masturbation for a group of men. Then he makes her eat a spoon of frozen man-spunk, like the cum whore she is.

ThornDaddy and Dollie Llama talk about "SUBMISSION AND COFFEE" getting syndicated on TalkingSexRadio.com. ThornDaddy and Dollie tell you how you can now get many episodes of "Submission and Coffee" at once, and how you can get on the GOLDEN FLOPPY DISC OF REDEMPTION at the same time.

Charlie is recovering well from her Coyote tribulation, and getting many marriage proposals, so line up, boys. They talk about hegemony (when hedgehogs get married), being a slutty little doll, drive-by spermings, drive-through sex, women as furniture, skunk apes, vaginal secretions from cute plump redneck subbie girls, the "daddy squish" as compression bondage, and why ThornDaddy loves how cute smutty fan girls constantly e-mail him naked slutty subbies photos of them bowing down for the camera and submitting to the lens.

They talk BASIC SEXUAL RIGHTS as approved by the Ethics Committee of the Fifth World Congress of Sexology, good sex with retarded girls, prison sex, sex with gays, lesbians, sadomasochists, fetishists, swingers, transgenderists, bisexuals, polyamorists, the upcoming Plump Buffet podiobook, and why French poodles are the slutty whores of the canine world. Then they have some HOT fucking slappy slutty whorish bondage wife sex to some evil, rockin' devil music.

DOLLIE LLAMA READS THE US CONSTITUTION
A VERY special Submission and Coffee: Dollie Llama reads the Constitution of the United States, the document that makes this podcast (and a lot of other cool stuff in our lives) possible. ThornDaddy twiddles the dials and coaches Dollie.

(Thank you Erin, for the audio proofing help!)

COMPRESSION BONDAGE! THE CARE AND BEATING OF YOUR SLUT!
ThornDaddy fucks Dollie Llama in the ass, whips her, fucks her pussy, and talks about his day while he does it.

Then they do some NAKED PODCASTING as they talk THROUGH THEIR NEW S&M Pro Audio TB202 two-channel rack-mount mixer/compressor/EQ tube preamp about Charlie cat's mystical journey with his coyote spirit guide and the cat battle in the innermost chamber. They talk about why lesbians love ThornDaddy, why rack mount gear improves sex, and why 1070s predictions about computer dating had it right.

They talk about why it's OK to fuck your wife while she's passed out on drugs, why Michael Valentine Smith is cool, and how ThornDaddy was given anti-steroids in the 80s, and that's probably why he is short and usually has a boner.

They talk about the fan who sent in photos of her bruises, why they're the NUMBER ONE BDSM PODCAST ON BOTH ITUNES AND GOOGLE, and they explain the process for making this show, and how they're making the world a better place for sexual romance and kinky love.

CHARLIE CAT SURVIVES A COYOTE ATTACK!
PEPPER! DROP CHARLIE! ThornDaddy and Dollie Llama talk about ThornDaddy saving Charlie cat from the jaws of a coyote! And talk about how Charlie is recovering nicely, and they let you listen to her purr.

ThornDaddy and Dollie Llama admire their own cum-stained sheets, they admire their own immorality plays, take the Political Compass Test, and talk about Wilhelm Reich.

Dollie tells how she was molested by a dentist a long time ago, and talks about why she has to get drugs to set foot in the dentist's office. Dollie takes drugs, passes out, and her husband takes advantage of her, with permission. He treats her like a girl passed out at a party, and she loves it.

ThornDaddy feeds Dollie a spoonful of cum, and they talk about and try out their new S&M Pro Audio TB202 two-channel rack-mount mixer/compressor/EQ tube preamp!!!!!

SQUIRTING SEX AND HOME IMPROVEMENT!
ThornDaddy and Dollie Llama drive to Santa Barbara to buy a new S&M Pro Audio TB202 rack-mount compressor for the podcast. They encourage you to BUY THEIR KINKY T-SHIRTS AND COFFEE MUGS to help them finance such extravagances. Then they have slappy sex, and ThornDaddy makes his slutty moaning wife cum and squirt. She soaks TWO beds as they have six sex acts.

Then they do some home improvement, tell you how to build a home dungeon, and they soundproof their dungeon to keep their bondage noises out of the street so they don't frighten the horses (or the lesbians.) They have "Breakfast in bed with the ThornDaddy family" while the cats sleep and purr and nibble their toes. They talk about putting StuffOnMyCat.com, invite you to join their "mission from pod", and talk about why ThornDaddy doesn't have to put down the damn toilet seat after he pees, and why his wife is his dirty little cum toilet, and why he loves her so much.

They both talk about how they are a "nation of two", and why Robert Heinlein made Dollie the sexually liberated woman she is. They talk about how to treat hairballs in cats and why Horatio Alger sucks. Then ThornDaddy CougerBaits his wife.

They talk about how the United States Constitution makes this podcast possible, why they love their banter as much as you do, how ThornDaddy's audio engineering gets him into Dollie's pants, how they reach more people with their weekly podcast than ThornDaddy's first three records sold in twenty years.

Then ThornDaddy rubs Dollie's pussy with his work gloves, wonders why workers of the world don't unite across made-up racial lines and kill their white bosses, why Jim Goad rocks, why Submission and Coffee's sexy fans say that the podcast is "giving D/s a face of normalcy", how to convert the vanilla (and why it's usually hopeless), and how ThornDaddy counted down the new year while rubbing his wife's pussy. Then they have some Submission and Chocolate, and makes her cum ten more times.

EDGE PLAY AND "OOPS" PLAY
ThornDaddy fucks Dollie silly in under three minutes. Then ThornDaddy and Dollie go on a literal FIELD TRIP and talk about how for them, foreplay is counting to four. They talk about sex-toy laws in Alabama and Texas, bad Dom horror stories, the joys of knife play, needle play, dangerous dope meth sex and other cautionary examples. They discuss edge play, RACK, SSC, and the pleasures of playing tic-tac-toe on a woman's body from a distance with singletail whips. ThornDaddy talks about the time he picked up a broken street whore who fucked for drugs, why playing while intoxicated is a bad idea, and why ThornDaddy loves women who vacuum in a slip and high heels. Dollie de-beasts Daddy, including shaving his butthole. They read and discuss "The Eleven Satanic Rules of the Earth" by Anton LaVey, and also tell you how to live to be 100.

Then they have some incredibly hot bondage and whipping pantyhose sex, where ThornDaddy shows you what he means by "open the seal on a new girl."

During the "post-game wrap up", Dollie explains the importance of warming up before D/s play, the role of endorphins in slappy sex, and why she loves her Daddy.

SMART TALK FOR PRETTY SEXY PEOPLE!
January 1, 2008. ThornDaddy and Dollie Llama do some bedcasting, talk about dollie's cleavage, reading dirty books while getting pedicures, dollie doing two men at once at a Motel 6, why they don't want to monitize their podcast, and why ThornDaddy was "a modern day Rimbaud, drinking and fucking his way through the bars and bedrooms of the city he loves and hates". They talk about dying with a boner, ThornDaddy's unrelenting boner, the problems with dating seven women, the worst thing about polyamory and the majesty that is Dr. Gene Scott. Then they read sexy TestiMOANials from their sexy fans, and read the dirty dirty search terms that bring people to their site. (There is no sex in this episode…it's a special treat for our more cerebral listeners.) Also, "An open letter to Penthouse regarding your recent purchase of Bondage.com"

ACID TEST FOR DOMS!!!! MERRY CATMAS!!!!
ThornDaddy sits Dollie Llama down and makes her read "The Acid Tests for True Dominants" (a.k.a. "The Acid Test For Doms") by DrSpankenstein. She loves it, and they have the best Christmas Eve ever, because they're spreading kinky joy and edu-tainment! "The Acid Test" is full of information for submissive women on how to find the man of your dreams, not the creep of your nightmares.
THIS COULD SAVE YOUR LIFE!

KINKY CHRISTMAS!
ThornDaddy and Dollie Llama welcome you to their podCAT, and announce the winner of their contest. Then they talk about "two cars in every garage and a riding crop in every bedroom", website boobs, how the hairdresser turns dollie into a new wife, God Rest Ye Merry Bonzo, faith, deism, why Xmas is mashed potatoes and guilt, frumpy Amish undies, mortality, Jim Goad's book "The Redneck Manifesto", kinky Republicans, then they read sexy kinky fan mail, and have some filthy cum-guzzlin' bondage sex.

MARRY YOUR WHORE AND LIVE HAPPILY EVER AFTER.
(Why marriage is better than a slave contract.)
ThornDaddy and Dollie Llama talk about 70s music (some of the worst, and some of the best, music ever), they talk about the difference between soundproofing and sound treatment, they read a kinky poem about their podcast from a listener, they talk about why they got married, what married 24/7 BDSM is like, and then they have some spirited lovemaking. They talk about why Home Depot is "Pervert's Paradise", and what dollie wants to do with the new Mag Light they bought tonight. (And they apologize for sending out two copies of the same cast.) Then ThornDaddy makes his slave cum, many times.

AND THEY STILL ARE HAVING A CONTEST TO GIVE AWAY A COMPLETE TEN-DVD SET OF "THE MIDNIGHT SPECIAL" CONCERT SERIES.

ThornDaddy and Dollie Llama enjoy the last day of a two-week vacation in Phoenix. They have slappy sex. Then they talk about their creative process, bull whips, singletails, how to have safe, hard slappy sex without hurting your lover, how to have sex four times a day, cougar bait, pool boy and corporate whore fantasies, looking at porn while your woman sucks your dick and licks your butthole, beating off on your wife's panties, and why Dollie likes it when ThornDaddy tells other women what to do over the Internet. ThornDaddy talks about the filthy photos a submissive fan took and sent when ThornDaddy told her to.

We hear calls for female fans to send in sexy pictures (with permission only, if you're collared or otherwise attached), and we learn "What's the difference between a woman and a toilet?" ThornDaddy and Dollie Llama talk about Cherry Patch Ranch, sex on meth, and how to get kicked out of a whore house. ThornDaddy and Dollie Llama also have a meaningful conversation about "The Redneck Manifesto", Dead Kennedys, Bill Bryson, Henry Ford, JKF, George Washington, and Thomas Edison's last breath. Then they drive home across the desert, then have a LOT of nasty filthy bondage wife-whore sex in their own bed. And say hi to their kitties, who really missed them a lot.

AND THEY HAVE A CONTEST TO GIVE AWAY A COMPLETE TEN-DVD SET OF "THE MIDNIGHT SPECIAL" CONCERT SERIES.

ANAL BONDAGE HONEYMOON AT THE GRAND CANYON!
ThornDaddy masturbates Dollie Llama AT THE GRAND CANYON!!!! OVERLOOKING THE EDGE!!! Then they come home and lick each other's mintry fresh buttholes, ThornDaddy ties Dollie up and fucks her in the ass while whipping her and talking dirty and sweet to her. Then they discuss matters of serious artistic, scientific and social merit, like the artists HR Giger and Gwar, and talk about a playgirl that has contacted them. Ah...all the beautiful wonderful joys of 24/7 BDSM Master/slave relationships!

BONDAGE HONEYMOON!
ThornDaddy and Dollie Llama go to Arizona on their honeymooon (a year after they got married.) They have filthy grown-up married sex in the hot tub. They have slappy sex in the bed. They have slappy sex in the other bed. They talk about Dollie's need to be a "good girl". Dollie licks ThornDaddy's butthole. Dollie plays the corporate whore of Daddy's dreams. Dollie talks about the dream she had about the sweet little old lady selling "Diary of an S&M Romance"